Category: Partners

What to ask your potential doula...

6/26/2017

We've heard it so many times when sitting down to chat with potential clients.

"Umm...we're not really sure what to ask."

Many people first hear about doulas from their midwives or from friends who've had a great experience with a doula during a previous birth. But, they don't always understand what a doula does or what they should ask during an interview to help them figure out which doula is the best fit. In fact, we've heard this same sentiment from so many people that we actually made a list to help them out.

Here are our most frequently asked questions and some suggestions of our own. Of course, these aren't the only questions you can ask and you should always ask anything you like. More personalized questions based on your individual needs, wishes, and personalities are great! Take a look at our list to get started and let us know if you have any additions!

Do you have availability for my due date?

Where do you work/what area do you cover?

What's your guiding philosophy for supporting women in labor and birth?

What training or experience do you have?

Why did you become a doula?

Can you provide references from past clients?

What is your birth fee and what does that cover?

How many clients do you take per month?

How do you feel about the use of pain medication during labor?

How do you work with and involve partners?

Do you offer other birth-related services? (breastfeeding support, postpartum care, placenta encapsulation, etc)

Remember, these are just a starting point. Always feel free to ask anything that's on your mind!

Take care,
Kate & Becca

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Prodromal WHAT?!

2/11/2017

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Prodromal labor.

If you’ve ever experienced it, it’s like I just said a really nasty cuss word. If you’ve never experienced it, please… allow me to enlighten you.

Don't you love the look on her face? That's the look of days of prodromal labor.

What is it?

Prodromal labor is a pattern of contractions that can begin anytime in the last few weeks of your pregnancy. It can hurt. It can feel like active labor. It can keep you up at night, it can last for days, it can totally exhaust you and your partner. Prodromal labor contractions may be far apart, close together, short, long, painful, or mild.

But here’s the kicker - these contractions are more annoying than they are productive. Prodromal labor contractions can start and stop at any time. It can be absolutely miserable, especially when you’re trying to plan your life around this labor that never seems to truly start, and worse… never seems to end. Active labor results in cervical change. That means your cervix (the opening of the uterus) gets soft (effacement) or open (dilation). Prodromal labor doesn’t cause any cervical change, though it can transition into active labor at any time - and only a cervical check can provide that particular information.

You may have heard the term “false labor,” which is a very bad, no-good term that we don’t use. I’m using it here so that you won’t have to. Just because prodromal labor contractions don’t immediately result in a baby doesn’t mean they’re false. Ask anyone who has experienced mind-numbing exhaustion from 3 solid days and nights of difficult contractions - that was not “false labor.” It’s very real and to call it “false” seems to imply that it wasn’t important or necessary. Prodromal labor does help with toning the muscles of the uterus and can lead to other physical preparation that your body goes through to have a baby. There is a meaning to all the madness.

Some other notable qualities of prodromal labor are that it can’t always be stopped, it is often painful, and sometimes occur at a particular time of day, like when you lay down to go to sleep at night. Prodromal labor contractions can seem like they’re occurring very quickly and for long periods of time, which is one reason it can feel like active labor is imminent.

So, how do I survive it?

We wrote a blog post a while back on ignoring early labor, and one of the big reasons we constantly urge our clients to ignore, distract, and rest during early labor is because of this… it may be prodromal. Seriously, people. If you think you’re in labor, that’s great! Contact your healthcare provider, contact your doula. But then… pull an Elsa and let it go. If you need to sit on your birth ball or relax in the bath, that’s ok - do what you need to do. But don’t jump in the car and head to the hospital just yet. You want to look for the sign that your contractions are getting longer, stronger, and closer together.

First, try drinking a big glass of water, changing your position (get up if you’ve been laying down, or vice versa), taking a nap, or laying in a relaxing bath. Sometimes, these minor changes can alter the trajectory of prodromal labor.

If you’re a do-er, find something to DO. Make food. Clean your house. Go shopping, go to a movie. Distract yourself. Don't time your contractions!

If you’re a worker, and you need to feel like you’re doing something to help yourself and your baby, check out The Miles Circuit. There has been some speculation in the birth world that prodromal labor may be related to a less-than-optimally positioned baby, and the Miles Circuit is a healthy, physical set of moves that gives you a job to do.

Otherwise...hang in there! Prodromal labor is tough, but it has a silver lining or two (I’m all about the silver lining!). It’s great practice for labor - you can test-drive positions that feel good, find comfortable places in your home to do contractions, work with your partner to find some massage techniques that feel good. It does bring baby closer through uterine muscle toning. And… it’s a time to truly find your strength and use the power within your body to do the work that needs to be done. And trust us… that’s also great training for parenthood <3

Love,
Becca

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Postpartum Care in Postmodern Times

2/2/2017

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There are two common questions that postpartum doulas hear in regards to their work…

Question 1: What exactly do you do?
A professional postpartum doula can help ease the anxiety and workload that comes along with the transition following a birth. Doulas provide both emotional support and hands-on help to a family, allowing parents time to bond with baby, snuggle older siblings, and take a refreshing shower or much needed nap. Every family has different needs, but typical duties might include helping a mother with breastfeeding, providing guidance on infant care and postpartum recovery, preparing meals, doing laundry, washing dishes or bottles, running errands and helping care for siblings. A professional doula is knowledgeable about other local services a family may need (support groups, mental health care providers, lactation consultants, chiropractors, massage therapists, etc) and can help with referrals. A doula may come for a few hours during the day or help the family overnight, when needed. She may also spend time with the parents helping them process feelings about their birth, answering questions about physical and emotional changes, and providing encouragement and reassurance that they can handle the new adventures to come.

Question 2: Do people really need that?
Yes. Because times have changed.

Most of the time, I’m grateful to live in this day and age. I like my car, I like my smart phone. I’m a big fan of central heating and cooling. These are all good things. However, postpartum care is one area where a modern attitude may be causing women more harm than good. The days and weeks after the birth of a baby used to be a time of turning inward for a woman. She and her little one would be sheltered by family and friends, safe and warm in a haven away from the outside world, as she settled into parenting and the baby became accustomed to life on the outside. The new parent’s job was to rest, recover, and care for her little one while others tended to siblings and managed other tasks and needs.

But, like many traditions in our society, this one has faded away over time. The postpartum period has now become a time where women are expected to turn outward rather than inward, and they’re expected to do it quickly. Rather than being allowed to focus on baby within the intimate circle of loved ones, society tells new parents to get up, get moving, and get on with life. Friends and family are clamoring for social media updates and photos from the first minutes after baby arrives. The clock starts ticking and the family is sent home just 48 hours after birth…and while baby sees a pediatrician within the first week, the woman doesn’t usually see her healthcare provider for six weeks. Spouses or partners are rarely given more than a couple of days off work and most birthing parents are considered very lucky if given six weeks of unpaid maternity leave.

Parents are expected to do it all on their own these days. Adjust to a completely new life, care for a newborn, master breastfeeding, cook, clean, run errands, walk the dog, entertain visiting family, and do it all while sleep-deprived. And, because we live in a society that loudly praises independence and self-sufficiency, most parents feel like they should be able to do it all.

Sadly, many of them end up enjoying their first few weeks and months as parents much less than they could have, if they’d just had one important thing: Support.

Many people don’t have support systems in place to help them through this time. These days, more and more families are spread across the country or even across the world. Friends may live far away or have demanding jobs and families of their own that prevent them from lending a hand as often as they’d like. So, in these postmodern times, who is caring for a woman as she cares for a baby? It’s a pretty tall order for one partner, not to mention those who are single-parenting, welcoming multiples or premature babies, or recovering from a traumatic or complicated birth. This is why a postpartum doula can be of valuable service to a family. To offer support in a seamless, unobtrusive, non-judgmental way.

All families deserve a gentle transition into their new way of life and a little help as they get their collective feet under them. Hiring a postpartum doula is a gift to a family…the gift of knowledgeable and experienced support, of time, and of peace of mind.

Take care,
Kate

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Howdy, Partner.

11/5/2016

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Our words matter. They communicate our needs, express our feelings, and set expectations for things to come. As doulas, we often find ourselves choosing words carefully because of the power they hold in emotional situations. There’s one certain word that we often hear in birth communities that has always rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve never really cared for the word “coach” when talking about a partner’s role during labor and birth. I’m not sure how the term came about, but I suspect it was an attempt to give fathers a “gender-appropriate” role as society allowed them to start coming into the delivery room to witness the births of their children. What can I say? The history of childbirth is fraught with both strange and sexist ideas. Regardless of its origins, Becca and I don’t find ourselves using it when talking to clients.

The term “coach” is most often used to describe a person who has experience and expertise in a certain area and uses their skills to improve another person’s technique. Does this sound like a fair and reasonable label for a newly expecting parent? I think not.

There certainly are times when a significant other has seen labor before and may have even given birth, themselves...but, even these individuals are unlikely to claim expertise. And, what about those who have zero experience? “Hey, I know you’ve never been to a game before, but it’s time to get in there and tell her how to do this thing right!” Yikes. Talk about pressure to perform. Words are important, so let’s choose a word that doesn’t totally freak people out by asking them to coach a high-stakes game in a sport they’ve never played before.

At AthensBorn, we prefer to use the term “partner”...and not just because we’re in the south and it sounds great with the accent. (It does.) But, because two people moving through a labor and birth are, in fact, partners. And, there is no one right way to be a partner. Some partners want to be right in the midst of labor, holding their loved one up, massaging her back, reminding her to breathe. Some partners are a little nervous...they are present and loving but also need support, guidance, and reassurance themselves from time to time. Some partners are deeply anxious and fearful in these types of situations and are not able to provide hands-on, physical support during labor but they still want to be present for that miracle moment of their child entering the world. A doula can help facilitate any one of these situations...and she’ll do it judgment-free.

Whatever kind of partner you see yourself being, your thoughts, hopes, and wishes for the birth matter. As doulas, we want to get to know you during the pregnancy, too. We want to know what you’re looking forward to, what you’re worried about, and understand how we can best support you. You don’t need an in-depth understanding of the intricacies of birth to be a great partner (hey, that’s why you hired a doula, right?). You don’t need coaching skills, you simply need love and compassion. No one knows your partner better than you and that's irreplaceable during labor. We’ve been to many births with many devoted partners who each found a way to support their loved ones during birth.

Trust us...you’ll find your own best way, too.

Take care,
Kate

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Counter Pressure: Why does it rock so hard?

10/11/2016

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People who have given birth: If you’ve experienced contractions, you may have been one of the blessed ones who also received this magical thing we call counter pressure. That basically means that you have someone in your life who loves you enough to push on your lower back during each contraction. You may not remember (or care) who was doing it or exactly how, but you know it was one of the things that helped you survive that moment and conquer each contraction as it came.

The rest of this blog post is for everyone else: partners, doulas, friends, anyone who might be assisting someone as they give birth. If you have provided counter pressure to a laboring person, you are a saint. You will forever be remembered as part of their labor survival kit and they will refuse to do labor in the future without it.

There are a few things to note about it, though, especially for anyone who has never used counter pressure as a tool. So let’s go over some basics:

How does it work? See this picture below? Look in the middle of that person’s back - that’s their sacrum. Sometimes laboring women feel pain in that place as their baby’s head passes by it on the way down - and yes, it’s generally more uncomfortable when the baby’s head is in the posterior position, meaning the bony back of the baby’s head is pushing against the sacrum. However, even anterior-positioned babies can cause discomfort - so counter pressure helps by pressing back against the baby’s head and lessening the sensation of pain. It doesn’t necessarily fix the problem, but it can be a great coping strategy for the laboring woman in that moment. If it works, do it!

AthensBorn Birth Services - Counter Pressure Anatomy

Communicate. You have to communicate with the owner of the back you’re providing counter pressure to. If you don’t know exactly how to do that, here’s a little labor role play you can practice:

Partner: Can I try some counter pressure on your lower back during the next contraction?
Pregnant person: Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh. [Assume that’s a yes.]
<Attempt counter pressure throughout entire contraction.>
Partner: How did that feel?
Pregnant person: OMG, do that forever.

If they LOVED it, do it again! If they hated it or want you to try again, but in a different spot, try again but in a different spot. If they hated it and never want you to touch their lower back again, that’s ok! Try not to let your feelings get hurt. She’s not trying to make you feel bad, she’s just in an intense place in her life. Laboring women don’t always know what they want, so it’s important for her birth team to be flexible and not take thing personally.

Keep communicating. Sometimes as the baby’s head moves down, the perfect spot for counter pressure moves down, so keep communicating with your laboring person! What works in early labor might not work later, and that’s ok. Counter pressure might work against the lower part of the person’s spine, or further down towards their tailbone - you just have to try it and find out.

AthensBorn Birth Services - Counter Pressure Demo

The Method. As this person in the picture is doing, use the palm of your hand - it provides an even, steady pressure. You can even use both hands, one on top of the other, to provide MORE pressure and to lessen the physical impact to your arms. Aim for the center of her back, right on her sacrum.

Some laboring women like the pressure to be steady and unmoving. Some women find that they like to feel some movement, so you can try a firm circular or stroking pattern and see what she likes better. (Remember to communicate!)

Positions, anyone? The laboring woman can be in lots of different positions to receive counter pressure: on her hands and knees on the floor or bed or couch, sitting on a birth ball, laying on the birth ball, sitting on the toilet, leaning over a kitchen counter, laying on her side, standing up, in the tub, in the shower. Anywhere she is comfortable where you have access to her back is a good place.

Test drive during pregnancy. There’s no need to wait until the contractions get intense before you try counter pressure. It can provide relief throughout pregnancy, especially in the third trimester, and give pregnant women and their partners something to do while they wait for the big day. This kind of labor preparation also provides couples a sense of partnership and togetherness, which is always a positive thing as parenthood approaches.

So, what do you think? If you’ve had a baby, did you enjoy counter pressure? What made it work or not work for you? If you’ve assisted as someone had a baby, do you have any tips to give to other birth partners? Feel free to share your experience with us! We love your stories!

Take care,
Becca

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Early Labor: Don't Do It!

6/20/2016

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Exploding Time And Relative Dimension In Space.... On Belly

Hello friends!

If you’ve ever sat through one of our final prenatal appointments, you may remember one thing we tend to stress: When in early labor, thou shalt not freak out and get all excited. Instead, ignore/distract/rest! (And yes, we mean it.)

So, let’s address a few things here. What’s early labor? That basically means that you are showing signs of labor (regular contractions, back pain, bleeding, diarrhea, restlessness, or any combinations of those things). However, you can be distracted, you can talk, walk normally, and basically still do everything you normally would - you just sort of have this labor thing happening in the background. It’s not uncomfortable yet, but it’s starting to get your attention and it’s not going away.

Second, why shouldn’t you freak out? Why not be excited? I mean, you’re about to have a baby! There aren’t many more freak-out-worthy and exciting events in life, especially if it’s a first baby. However, this is a good time to remember that you’re in it for the long haul. It may take several more hours (or, sorry mama, days) for your labor to really get going, then who knows how long after that until your baby is born. Those are the hours you need to save your energy and attention for.

So what we want our clients to do in early labor are these things:

Call your healthcare provider! They may have particular recommendations for you based on their knowledge of your medical history, so please let them know what’s going on!
Ignore your labor - keep “doing life” as normal. Go grocery shopping if you need to. Pick up your older kids from school. Eat supper. Shower. Don’t focus on labor yet, because the time to focus will come. Just do life.
Distract yourself - go to the movies (it may be your last chance for a long time!). Go on a date with your partner* to your favorite restaurant. Put together nursery furniture. Prep some meals for your postpartum period. Let someone decorate your belly (hello, who wouldn’t want an exploding TARDIS to enjoy during labor?). Just try anything that will keep you from watching the clock.
REST. Please, please rest. If you can sleep, do it. If you can lay on the couch and watch a movie, do it. Don’t put a lot of work into your early labor! No curb walking, no fancy breathing, no stomping. You need to save your energy.

*Speaking of partners: It might be important for YOU to remember to remind her to ignore/distract/rest. If she acts like she’s jumping headfirst into Labor Land, gently call her back so she can get out of her head.

We hope this info is helpful to any of you who might be approaching the final weeks of your pregnancy. If you’ve been there before, what were some of your favorite ways to ignore labor and distract yourself? What are some things you’ll definitely do next time? For me, it’ll be watching Empire Records, letting my toddlers Sharpie my tummy, and taking a nap. <3

Lots of love,
Becca

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Ramblings & Musings

What to ask your potential doula...

Prodromal WHAT?!

Postpartum Care in Postmodern Times

Howdy, Partner.

Counter Pressure: Why does it rock so hard?

Early Labor: Don't Do It!

Kate & Becca

Categories

Archives

Telephone

Email

Ramblings & Musings

What to ask your potential doula...

Prodromal WHAT?!

Postpartum Care in Postmodern Times

Howdy, Partner.

Counter Pressure: Why does it rock so hard?﻿

Early Labor: Don't Do It!﻿

Kate & ​Becca

Categories

Archives

Telephone

Email

Counter Pressure: Why does it rock so hard?

Early Labor: Don't Do It!

Kate & Becca