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Ramblings & Musings

Breastfeeding: Moving Forward

4/18/2016

3 Comments

 
I came across this on Instagram the other day, which is a miracle in and of itself, since I'm not a pro at Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCeXLWoxccZ/

This photographer beautifully captures the last time she nursed her daughter. It can be a heartbreaking moment for a lot of moms - wanting to soak in every second of that last time, not even sure if the last time is the last time, knowing that part of your nurturing is ending and that you and your baby are always, continually moving forward.

With my first child, I got pregnant when she was about 5 or 6 months old (oops) and went back to work full-time the next month (ugh). I pumped at work half-heartedly. I didn’t like pumping at work, it was so awkward. Heck, I didn’t like pumping at home, either. Also awkward. Eventually I just quit pumping, I got more pregnant, and my daughter spent more time away from me than with me. One day when she was around 9 months old, I offered to nurse her… and she refused. I joke that she rejected me, but now that she’s a ginormous 3-year-old who can count, do “crazy trust falls”, put on her own clothes, and speak her mind (often, and loudly), the abrupt end of our breastfeeding relationship breaks my heart.  I wish I had seen it coming so I could have done something to prolong it - maybe I could have pumped more? Quit my job? Who knows.

My second child, on the other hand, would have nursed forever. I chose to end our breastfeeding relationship when she was just shy of her second birthday. I remember those final nursing sessions, the intensity and range of my emotions: Impatience. I was ready to be done nursing. Tenderness. I didn’t want her to grow up all of a sudden. Dread. I didn’t want the last time to be the last time yet. Quiet. I would try to nurse her in an otherwise empty room, so I could focus on her little hands, her hair, her closeness. Pain. She was a scratcher, a biter, and was on and off constantly because she was a busy toddler who couldn’t be bothered to sit still and nurse for a full session. Distraction. I had another child to tend to, and a million things to do. Pressure. I heard some negativity from someone close to me about how old my nursing child was. My head and heart were overflowing every time she nursed towards the end.

I try to be conscious of being emotionally and physically connected with my children now that no one is nursing anymore. I have had to work hard at staying close to them without the ease and immediacy of breastfeeding. But I am happy with my decision to stop nursing my younger child, and wistful about the end of my older child’s breastfeeding. There’s truly a lot that goes into it, and into every other milestone you cross together - be it weaning from breastfeeding, bottles, or pacifiers, learning to walk and talk, navigating daycare, work, and playdates, and that's just the early years. I do want you to remember that though you and your child/children are always and continually moving forward, you’re doing it together. 

Love,
Becca
AthensBorn - Mom loving Baby
3 Comments

How to communicate effectively with your care provider: (AKA, Becca fangirling over local midwife)

4/6/2016

0 Comments

 
AthensBorn - Medical Staff
We know a lot of parents wonder about how to talk with their care providers about their biggest birth/baby issues, such as interventions, policies,and procedures. The list of questions parents ask of their care providers is truly endless - and for good reason! This is your baby, your body, and your birth we’re talking about here. You deserve honest, full discussions of all the issues. But, let’s consider for a minute the perspective of your midwife or obstetrician: she or he is tasked with keeping your health and the health of your baby at the front of their minds, while also navigating each patient’s particular wishes for their baby’s birth (which can vary WILDLY from parent to parent). This can be tough for care providers, to say the least.

So, we went straight to the source. The marvelous Alexa Clay agreed to be our expert witness. She’s a Certified Nurse-Midwife at Women’s Healthcare Associates and was a doula for over a decade before deciding to go into midwifery, so to many of the doulas in town (yours truly included) she’s kind of a rock star. She’s also a busy mother of two, so we’re incredibly thankful that she took the time to work on this blog post with us.
Here’s what Alexa had to say to my probing questions:


How can patients best let their Healthcare Provider know their wishes for their birth? For example, do midwives and OBs prefer for a client to tell them their wishes during office visits, or is a printed-out birth plan better?

Alexa: I feel like the most effective way of learning about a patient's expectations is for the patient to write out what their biggest wishes/expectations are for their birth and to bring them into their prenatal visit sometime during the last month or two. I like to read over and discuss the plan with them. It's a great opportunity to talk in more depth about practice philosophy and which expectations are easily attainable or even standard, and which ones may need more discussion. In our practice we put notes in people's charts about things that we may need to be reminded of when they come in for labor.


What happens if a patient disagrees with the health care provider’s recommendation or point of view? What's the best way that a patient can handle a situation like that? Should the patient worry that the doctor or midwife will be offended?

Alexa: Do your research and learn what the latest evidence says. Ask about risks and benefits of specific procedures. Just as importantly- ask about what the risks and benefits are if you do not do a procedure. Your provider is your partner in health and decisions should feel like joint decisions, especially during a normal, healthy pregnancy and birth.


Is it possible for a patient to ask too many questions?

Alexa: Have your questions written down or type them into your phone. Asking questions is important and should be expected by providers. Do be mindful of your midwife or doctor's time. Some questions can wait until future appointments.


What can a patient/partner do to make their health care provider’s job easier?

Alexa: Be curious, read books, go to childbirth education classes, hire a doula! See your doctor or midwife as an advocate- a part of your team.


Does having a knowledge of medical terminology help patients understand what their doctors and midwives are saying in appointments?


Alexa: If you don't understand what your midwife or doctor is talking about, ask them. We should be able to explain everything in terms that you understand.

​
There you have it, friends! My very own, up-close-and-personal (via email, anyway) interview with Alexa Clay, CNM and all-around awesome person. Thanks for your time, Alexa!

So, dear readers, we pose these questions to YOU:

1. What were some effective ways you found of talking with your care provider and getting the answers you wanted and needed?
2. What would you do differently if you got to do it over again?
3. What advice would you give new parents?

Can’t wait to hear your responses!

Take care!
Becca

0 Comments

    Kate & ​Becca

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  • HOME
  • ABOUT
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    • DOULA APPRENTICESHIPS
    • BLOG
  • SERVICES
    • BIRTH DOULA PACKAGES >
      • LABOR DOULA PACKAGE
      • APPRENTICE LABOR DOULA PACKAGE
      • CESAREAN BIRTH PLANNING PACKAGE
      • LAST MINUTE DOULA SERVICES
    • PLACENTA ENCAPSULATION
    • LACTATION SUPPORT >
      • Lactation Consultations
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  • CLIENTS
    • Online Forms
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    • FAQs
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  • CONTACT
  • EVENTS AND HAPPENINGS
    • Movement & Positioning Workshop
  • AthensBorn Shop
    • Shop Birth Doula Services
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    • Shop Postpartum Services
    • Shop Placenta Services